Monday, December 3, 2018

11

Dear Black,

So much on my mind regarding you, or who you could be the last couple of days.  Could you be W?  Could you be L?  I had good conversation with L, and W seemed like he was falling back a bit.  When I take the body of my interactions with W, it seems like he's a little jealous.  He is younger than me.  I don't know if he likes me.  And it's funny how things set up.  We were not even supposed to go out there this past Sunday.  We planned to practice outside at Nickajack Park, but it rained so much that the field was too soggy, so we had indoor batting practice.  This Sunday, it is going to rain, so we will not be outside, and I'll get to see W again.  I mean, could he be you?  The string of events is making me wonder.  If he's you, then I want the universe to make it obvious to me.  If he's you, and you like me, too, then I don't want you to think that I don't like you.  I wanted things to be as regular as possible.  I know how I get when I like someone.  I get anxious and uptight.  I just wanted things to be regular.  I didn't wanna do anything out of the ordinary.  I came to do batting practice and work on my swing.  I made it a point to speak to him, but there was no time for conversation.  Then came L.  He and I had a lot of conversation.  During the practice, after the practice, and at the Hideaway.  I just sent him a friend request on FB.  I hope he accepts.  Both W and L give me very good vibes.  They seem like good people who work hard, and have good spirits.  That's the kind of guy you are.  I have no idea what you look like.  That's the last piece of the puzzle.  I'm getting closer to you though.  You're getting closer and closer to me.  I don't wanna miss it.  You could be W, or you could be L, or you could be someone else entirely.  I see since I started writing these letters, i'm meeting guys who have good spirits, and can hold conversations.  That is something I look for.  That is just one thing that I thought you would have.  Your spirit would be great; you can converse with me.  L and I play in the league, so we have that in common.  And W makes a comment about "You guys have a lot of stories."  W also made a comment about me going to see someone (which ended being Maudretta for Sunday brunch).  He said "that's right you're gonna go see someone".  L just accepted my friends request.  We'll see what happens.  I see the universe setting things up.  The events are happening in sequence.  I know it's not forced, and it's not in our control.  It's just happening naturally.  That's how I know I'm getting closer to you.  That's how I know you are gonna be so perfect and we're gonna be happier together than we already are apart.  We're gonna have things in common.  Push each other to be better.  I'm getting excited about you.  I think I may have met you.  The onion just has to peeled back layer by layer with both of us, and then we will see.  That's when the universe will reveal you to me.  The feeling is blissful, and happy.  The universe is gonna reveal me to you, and you to me.  And that's gonna be a great day.  I can't wait.

LOVE, NATE

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

10

Letter 10

I'm watching it again, and it's going to bring me to tears again  I want what he got.  Simon got Bram.  I'm looking for Bram.  Is T you?  He's got someone.  He's coming at me hard.  It's just flirting.  I like to be liked.  Maybe that's the lesson in this.  Can't like someone because they like you, and C is on my page.  I'm sure he's seeing it all.  I wonder what he's thinking.  I don't desire an open relationship.  I want me and you.  T wants to be open with C.  And I've become part of it.  How do I separate the flirting from the real thing?  I've always knows that he liked me.  He's just getting more open about it.  I still want you.  What if he is you?  What if T is you?  The Universe does not look at situations.  It arranges everything perfectly.  Here I am crying again.  Because I know when I find you, I'm gonna shed the same tears of joy.  The mystery just continues to deepen.  I don't know who you are or where you are.  I wonder if I already know you.  Could you be T?  Could you be W?  Come on Uni.  Show me who Black is.  I'm ready.  I'm ready to receive so now you've gotta show me who Black is.  Who is this lover that I have dreamed of?  Who is this guy that I have fallen in love with?  This letter is to the Universe.  I wanna know who you are.  I know when you show me, it will all fall into place.  That's all.  I'm grateful that I can write these letters and know that you are taking inventory.  I know that you will act on my behalf, and I'm grateful for that.  I'm grateful that I can wholly know that you, the Universe, will never send me someone who will hurt me.  You, the Universe, will never send me someone who has bad intentions.  This letter should be to Black, but this is about Black.  Black is my dream guy.  Now every guy that I talk to in depth I get to question and wonder if he's black, and honestly this is fun.   Till next time

LOVE, BLACK


Monday, November 26, 2018

9

Dear Black,

How are you doing?  I hope you had a great day.  I did.  I watched Love, Simon again.  Simon and Blue's letters inspired to write these letters to you.  I just learned we won't be having batting practice at the cages next Sunday.  We're gonna be having practice outside at Nickajack Park.  It might rain.  Who knows?  I can't put too much stock into that because W may not be you.  And it doesn't mean we won't be back there. It doesn't even mean that W is not you.  It just means that we won't be at the cages next weekend.  This is bigger than one guy.  I can't focus on one guy.  The Universe is much bigger.  I have to continue to live.  I will say I am disappointed that I wont see W.  But it doesn't mean that he's not you.  I know you are near.  I know we will be brought together when we are ready.  At this point, I wanna keep my vibrations high, and my spirits and thoughts positive.  I know the Universe sees these letters, and will reward me according to my level of vibration.  I am confident in that.  It has before and will again.  The change in practice venue means nothing at all.  I'm not shaken.  W probably isn't you.  W might still be you.  All I have to do at this point is roll with it and enjoy this journey.  The many guys I'm going to talk to and learn about along the way.  I'm actually getting excited.  This is going to be fun and educational.  I feel like I've kissed many frogs already.  The only one I wanna be kissing is you.  You're the man I love.  I love your intelligence, smile, thoughtfulness, sense of humor, occasional silliness, empathy, etc etc.  I love your strength and appreciate your opinions.  How you stand your ground; how you don't back down; how you respect others opinions that are not your own; how you tailor your feelings to facts.  I'm gonna be wondering who Black is.  I'm getting sleepy.  I just wanted to make sure I wrote you today.  I know this letter will find you in spirit.  Have a great evening.

LOVE, NATE

Sunday, November 25, 2018

8

Dear Black,

Could I have seen you today?  After my walk on the Beltline, a guy across the street was running in the park and was looking across at me.  It weirds me out when someone stares at me.  I wouldn't call it staring exactly but, it still makes me nervous and I don't like staring back.  But he was cute, tall, thick and into fitness.  He was jogging.  I know I have missed opportunities before, and this may have been one of them.  I know I wanted to be able to batting practice by 11, so I was thinking about that.  Stopping and talking may have made me late.  That's not what I wanted.  That was on my mind at that time.  But again, I think I have to trust the Universe, because it may be trying to bring you to me, and I'm not being receptive.  I will be in the receptive mode from this point forward.  I can't experience all of the bliss that the universe can give me if I am not in the receptive mode.  Then I went to batting practice and talked to William.  Could William be you?  I think it's a natural question since I've been writing these letters.  William seems nice, and he was telling me a little about himself.  He told he's bilingual.  I know that he works full time at a school, and coaches soccer, which is what he loves.  I told I'm love writing; he loves soccer.  It was cool.  I do kind of enjoy talking to him.  Me liking him in a romantic way?  I'm not sure.  I don't know him that well.  I know I look forward to going to batting practice again next Sunday so we can practice and I can see him again.  Will we talk again?  I'm not sure.  We'll see.  He even gave me two extra credits stating "oh you guys come here all the time."  But he knows Danny all those credits available for the cage.  There's just something about him that attracts me.  He's cute; he's active; he's articulate.  I wonder if he's you.  Time will tell right?  Time will reveal all of this.  I KNOW you are near.  The Universe will bring us together.  Like I said before, I'm waiting.  I'll be here waiting.  The universe has to bring us together so it can be right.  I will be in the receptive mode, and I hope you are, too.  Because we are on a collision course for love.  To be with each other; to support each other; to enjoy life together.  I trust that the universe will give me exactly what I need.  So we will see.  This journey on the way to you is going to be fantastic, and I'm wondering if that's the whole lesson in this.  Enjoy the journey.  What I'm gonna learn about the guys.  I just need to be smart when to shoot my shot.  And I'm so afraid of being wrong.  I'm afraid of being rejected.  I'm afraid of being looked at as the gay guy hitting on a straight guy.  I'm afraid of looking like i'm thirsty, but in all of that, I still have to shoot my shot.  I can't be afraid of any of that anymore.  In baseball, you fail more than you succeed.  I only have to hit once.  And won't I have a better chance of meeting someone I actually like if I am the one who hollers first.  In fact, I kinda like it better that way.  I don't like someone constantly hitting me up.  I like it better when I initiate the contact (and it's returned in the same fashion).  I don't want to initiate all the time, but it feels better when I text or call someone because I want to communicate with them.  So I think the train is revving up.  This journey; this trip; is gonna be something that I will always remember, because I know it will lead me to you...the man of my dreams.  The man I manifested through the Law of Attraction.  The man I know the universe will give me.  I already love you, I just have to meet you.  I just have to see you; talk to you; get to know you.  This is closer than ever.  I just pledge to be in the receptive mode.  Anywho, I hope this message finds you in spirit.  I will post this link on my IG bio.  And I anticipate this blog is going to attract thousands of viewers.  Of them, you will emerge, and I will know who you are.  I'm in Atlanta, GA.  I don't know you will be here with me, because that's what the universe wants.  I hope your weekend was great, Black.   Just know that I love you, and I'm waiting for you.

LOVE, NATE

Saturday, November 24, 2018

7

Good morning Black,

It's a rainy day outside but I feel sunny on the inside.  We're going to have our softball team dinner today.  I'm grateful to be on a team that does more than just play in the field.  We're doing toy drives and charity functions.  Isn't that what life is?  Giving.  I don't need to be at home sitting around crying like I was the last couple of days.  I blame it on the holidays, but really it's just a myriad of things.  Or what I perceive I lack.  Love.  Love doesn't come from outside of me.  It comes from within.  This is why I write to you, and I don't even know who you are.  But I know we are connecting in spirit because that's how the universe in party works.  I have to act as if I already have it.  I have love; I have happiness.  It will never be enough coming from another.  It always starts with me.  I write you because I know you are out there.  I have been so inspired by the movie "Love, Simon" because he manifested his love by coming to terms with himself, and writing Blue.  I look at so many things with that movie, but that is one thing that I get out of it.  I know it's a movie, but with the evidence that I've manifested things before, I can do it this time.  Yes I would like someone to share my life with.  I know he is you.  Not knowing who you are makes it all the more intriguing because I can fall in love with what I visualize and imagine you to be, and the kind of guy I visualize you to be. I do not know what you look like, or how you dress, or how you carry yourself, but I trust the Universe.  It will not bring me something or someone I am not ready for, and it will not bring me to someone or something that is not ready for me.  I am being prepped just for you.  You see being prepped for me.  That's why I know we are going to be a force together.  I can't wait to meet you, and I can't wait for my love for you to grow.  Our journeys have begun, first toward each other, then we will complete the journey together.  I'm enjoying the ride already.  I suppose I'll get out of bed, shower, and have breakfast.  I just wanted to write you.  Have an awesome day!!!

Love, NATE

Friday, November 23, 2018

6


Dear Black,

Good morning.  I'm in the gym.  I worked two more OT hours today.  I sure need it.  I would like to get my niece something.  Well, send my sister the money and she can go get Dallas whatever she needs.  I enjoy doing that, and I'm going to continue to.  I can't host to meet her.  She's so sweet and innocent.  Next summer.  Her birthday.  But here I am, thinking about you.  What you're like; what you are doing now; what you are feeling.  Are you with family?  Are you with friends?  What your plan is for today?  What do you like to do?  What do you enjoy?  I want to enjoy them with you for the rest of our lives.  I guess I'll find all of these things out soon enough.  In the meantime, I hope this letter finds you in spirit.  Have a great fay.

Love Nate

Thursday, November 22, 2018

5

Dear Black,
I am writing these letters to you because I am putting my self in the feeling and in the place of you already being physically here.  This is the the secret.  Acting as if I already have it.  Yes, I have you.  I love you so much already.  I know you are intelligent and hilarious.  I know you will have me in stitches.  I can imagine us having conversations and agreeing to disagree.  You have strong opinions about various issues, and respectful when others opinions aren't matching.  You may appreciate some of my corniness.  I listen to movie scores; tv theme songs; soap opera theme songs.  I write soaps.  I know you will.  I will appreciate your idiosyncracies also.  I'm going up to my friends house for Thanksgiving so I gotta get in the shower.  I'll send you another letter soon.  I love you..
LOVE, NATE

LETTER 4

Dear Black,
 I'm here working out and. I can't stop thinking about you, whoever you are.  I've noticed, sicne I started writing you letters, guys have been speaking and looking at me.  Call it the universe; call it cosmic.  As I sweat here, I write this letter to you.  I look around wondering who you are.  Are you near?  Show yourself to me if you are erady.  If you are not, then I understand.  Just know if you are afraid, I'm here.  If something is on your mind, I'm here.  If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.  We're all energy, so send to me.  Send you vibe to me.  If you are hurting I'm here.  I'm here in spirit and I will be there in person.  I'm falling in love with you.  Every day.  Nothing is coincidence.  I know we are what we need in our lobes.  Yes I'm dealing with my issues too, but I know you are the kind of guy who is patient and will be there with me eveye step of the way.  We're going to enjoy the rest of our lives together.  I can't wait to see you . I know I'm not supposed to focus on looks but I know that I will like what I see.  And you will, too.  I love you so much already.  Have a great day.

Love, Nate

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

LETTER 3 to BLACK

Dear Black,

I just told my friend about you.  She knows about the law of attraction, vibration, and manifesting what you desire.  I desire you.  Not in a sexual way yet.  I desire a male partner who is compassionate, possesses empathy, respect for others, indignation for righteousness, etc etc.  As I said before, I don't know what you look like, who you are, where you are, and what you're like, but I know you are perfect for me.  As I sit here on Thanksgiving Eve, I think about the holidays you and I are gonna spend together.  The danger for me is taking you for granted.  I don't want to ever take your kindness, love, appreciation, consideration, compromise, strength for granted, ever.  Since like attracts like, we are both strong minded individuals who have strong opinions about various things.  One of us is a bit better at physical fitness and can teach the other.  We will walk in the gym stronger together.  We will be seen in public and people will know what's up, but will have to chill on any bullshit because they will see our strength.  Together we got things to do; together we got changes to make in the world we live in.  We're movement by ourselves, but we're a force when we're together.  Our togetherness will be perfect timing.  There are no coincidences in this life.  All this live long day, I have been thinking about you.  What our lives will be like together.  The disagreements we will have; the journeys we will take; the trips we will embark on, and how we will be stronger together.  I can't wait to meet you.  I wonder what that meeting is going to be like.  Do we already know each other?  Have I already met you?  I'm not sure.  I don't know what the universe has in store.  I just want to remain open so i can receive all of what it wants to give me.  I hope you're well.  How is your evening going?  How are you spending your holiday?  are you happy?  are you with family, friends?  plenty of food to go around?  I wonder about you.  I hope you are happy.  I hope you are well.  Just remember, I am waiting for you.  I love you.

LOVE, NATE

LETTER 2 to BLACK

Dear Black,

Many will think I’m crazy posting these letters on a blog, but that’s my way of shooting my shot.  I can’t sit by and be tough about this anymore.  I can’t sit by and wait for the manna to fall out of the sky.  These letters will inspire someone.  Someone to face who they are; someone to accept a hard truth; someone to fix his eyes on the mountain top and go through the valley.  I’ve gone through many valleys, and in many ways I’m still going through it, but I desire someone to go through them with.  That guy is you.  I said guy because I want to be clear that I am a gay man.  A Black gay man.  I didn’t want any misunderstandings about this.  I know you are, too.  You are a gay man.  Whether you are out, I don’t know.  I venture to think you might be struggling with something.  This something is keeping us apart.  The universe cannot do its work if you continue to hold on to whatever that’s slowly killing your spirit.  You cannot come out on the other side if you put up walls.  This is what I’m working on.  I can’t stop thinking about you Black.  I sense you are holding on to something.  Something that you are scared to face.  Covering it up is not going to help.  You must come face to face with it.  Head on.  There are things I’ve been running away from, too baby.  I’m facing some of them, and others I still have to face.  Part of the preparation.  I can’t be with you physically, but I can be with you in spirit.  I’m on your side and I’m rooting for you to get through whatever it is you’re holding on to.  Once that dust clears, I’ll be here waiting for you.  Waiting to love you.  You deserve everything you desire.  Always remember that.

LETTER 1 TO BLACK

Letter to BLACK

Dear Black,



                I have no idea who you are; what you look like; where you’re from; your age, but know this, I’m here.  I’m ready to love you.  I love you already.  You’re the kind of guy I’ve been waiting my whole life for.  You’re the kind of guy who makes me see why I went through so many abusive relationships.  You are the guy who made me see the reason why I went and saw a doctor after I fell in love with a man who had a LOT of narcissistic traits.  I can’t call him a narcissist because I don’t wanna throw the term around like that.  But anyway, as I’ve been waiting for you, I know you are waiting for me.  I know we are being brought together by the Universe.  I implore you, to take your walls down; if you’re blocking the universe, remove your blocks.  If you’re afraid, nervous, scared of what’s on the other side, don’t be.  It’s me.  I’m on the other side, full of love, respect, dignity, compassion, empathy, and I’m waiting to give it to you.  The thing is, I know You are that same kind of guy or similar.  You will never intentionally disrespect me; you will never ask to do something that will compromise my self dignity; you will never put pressure on me; you will make me feel safer, more secure, happier than I already am.  You are the most wonderful man I have yet to meet.  You are the most thoughtful I will have the privilege and honor of being with.  I am so grateful that the universe has prepared you for me.  I know you’re coming.  I pledge to not be disrespectful toward you; I pledge to protect you; I pledge to be there for you through thick and thin; I pledge to love you.  I will not put you in a position that compromises your self worth.  I will respect you, your wishes, your time, your love.  I pledge to show you how much I appreciate you.  I know how I can be, and I know that I will raise my level with you.  When we meet, it’s going to be so right.  I pledge to let the universe do its thing, and to get out of my own way, so you can come to me.  Because I know you’re waiting for me, too.  The universe is always listening, reading, feeling and rewarding according to the vibrational level, and I need to ride on as high a frequency as I can, as often as possible, so my eyes can be open…to you, the most wonderful man I have not met yet, and will have the privilege of being with.  I trust the universe will get this message to your heart.  I want you to know that I love you, and I will remove all blocks so the universe can bring us together.



LOVE, NATE